Hi, my name is Kim & I’m a dork. I am a happily married mother of a 9 yr old demon *cough cough*, er daughter. I'm usually reading on my Kindle, on the computer, or watching movies, but I'm usually reading. I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I sing badly & dance worse (only when alone or with the kid). I tend to get songs & movie quotes stuck in my head (mentally inked~get it? hee hee). I try to be a good person, wife & mother, but don’t always pull it off.
Ok, I don't normally review (cuz normally, I don't care,) but I decided today that I have to give it a try.
When I went to Starbucks yesterday (hey, I had cash!), they were giving away free samples of their new VIA Ready Brew Instant Coffee. So, I did what I normally do & threw the sample in my purse.
Well, today I found myself lacking cash for my regular cup of Joe (now why does that just sound wrong?), er coffee, so when I got home from dropping the kidlet off, I realized that I still had the sample in my purse!
I was delightfully surprised! Normally, I don't like instant coffee. I think it tastes like what I imagine a donkey's butt would taste. The Colombia (also comes in Italian Roast), while not exactly smelling like their normal brew (not bad smelling, just different), was actually very good! It tasted just like their regular coffee. However, if you don't like Starbucks, you're not going to like it. It took about a minute & a half to heat the water and then it was done. A plus: there was nothing to clean up except the little packet to throw away. How fabulous is that?
I think this is a great product. It's a little spendy ($9.95 for 12 packets), but if you have days when you're in a rush & you need to quick fix, I think it's worth it (unless you prefer the taste of donkey butt).
...In my bank account & now there seems to be a problem with my dryer AND washer!
Isn't it always the way? You're short on funds (everything almost completely maxed out) & everything just decides to take a shit. It can't be little things like a blowdryer (which I rarely use). Noooo, it has to be something that I actually have to use on a regular or everyone in my house will be stinky & dirty.
I need to find a cork to stop that leak & get a magical washer/dryer that kicks ass & never breaks down. Hey, if I'm getting a magical washer & dryer, why can't my laundry just be magically cleaned & folded & put away?
Is that drool-worthy or what? Bee-oo-tee-full Frigidaire!
Ok, I just spent the last 2 hours going through songs for y'all (It's hard because I only put songs I like on here!). While tons of songs pop into my head at any random moment, it's hard to call them to me on command (Getting old sucks!). I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I HATE research! Ok, so I did start to have some fun with this. This reminded me of songs I had forgotten & some of them just made me giggle. I hope you all enjoy & it helps you to have a happy Monday.
I know there are a ton I've left out, but give me a break here, I gave you a couple more than usual! (Oh, & I have more for another time.)
Hello friends. I'm Kim & boy do I have a wonderful product for you today! Have you ever sent an email, text or tweet that you really shouldn't have because you were angry? Did you call your boss a whore or tell your bff that she looked like a fucking cow? (Language people! You can't say fuck in a commercial!) Did you tell your sister that she was adopted & that your mom liked you better & that her ears look big & her boobs are small & that her ass looks big & that you stole her boyfriend in high school....I think you get my point.
Well, I have the solution for you! It's called pistoff. With this handy little program you can lock the keys of your cell phone & computer! You just install the program to your phone or cell phone. It will lock back up after each message sent. To unlock it all you have to do is:
Type your name
Age
Birth date
Social Security number
Weight this week
Telephone #
Shoe size in heals
Your first boy/girl-friend's middle name
Your first grade teacher's last name
Your mother's maiden name
What you had for dinner last night
The last time you had sex
When you expect to have sex again
(For Women) The first day of your last period
If you get through all that without throwing your phone or computer out the window, you should be calm enough to send only rational messages.
Available at all PMS retail stores. Get yours today!
I'd show you a picture, but I threw the damn computer out the window about an hour ago & somehow my phone ended up in the toilet. Huh, I wonder how that happened...
I love this movie! So, no music for you! Trust me, you'll have plenty on Monday.
As we celebrated the life & death of Manertainment.com with our beloved Stretch (anyone who doesn't listen to Jack & Stretch/Stench on either Jackandstench.com or CRN, needs to give them a try) some wackiness ensued.
The game for today is: What do you see in this pic? If you had a caption for it, what would it be?
This is because I love this song & can't get it out of my head!
So, we bring you back you you regularly scheduled program! What is that, you may ask...well, fuck if I know (ooooh, I said a bad word!). I didn't like the vibe of yesterday's post so I needed to update. I have a plan. Anyone who wants to help, I'd appreciate it.
Ok, here it is...First, I need a plastic surgeon. I need them to take about 80 lbs off my little frame & flatten my tummy. (A trainer can come later, I'm in a hurry here.) Then I need some absolutely fab clothes! Then I need that movie, you know the one where the guy sells his wife for $1 million for the night. (Someone get on that, will ya?) Then we need someone to restrain my hubby to make him watch that several times, so then he'll think it was his idea...
I plan on taking him to a casino & letting someone have him for the night (for a fee, of course). You didn't think I'd actually do this myself, did you? No! Sometimes a girl just wants to feel pretty.
I have survived many things. I have survived losing a parent. I have survived the Avon Walk. I survived a job I hated for almost 10 years. I've survived having a beautiful devil child (so far~yes, I love her anyway). I've survived a move that left me bouncing around between the inlaws & my parents house for a few weeks. I've survived being told by my sister inlaw what she actually thinks of my husband & myself~in front of my daughter. I have survived being broke before. Why do I feel like I'm not going to make it this time?
I'm in the process of waiting for my business to take off. I've been working here & there. I need steadier work, I need more business. I need to stop feeling like a failure. I need to help my husband out more. I need to be able to make my mortgage payment & my electric bill! The credit card companies are gonna have to go screw themselves for a while.
So do I get a regular part time job? A full time job? I don't know how to work for someone else anymore...I don't even know what I'm good at anymore. What the hell do I do? I'm looking at the job listings online & I don't know what I'd be qualified for. I looked at the Problogger job board, but I don't know enough about anything or have enough experience to write for any of them. I'm not a writer, I've never been (other than being a wanna be poet). I want to work in a bookstore, not one of those big ones, either. I'm not fast. I'm not gifted. I'm not a people person.
I'm in such a mood that even my teeny bopper movies aren't working. No music today unless you wanna suggest something.
As the tears come down, I thank the heavens for spellcheck. This all makes sense to me. If it doesn't to you, I'm sorry, I'll try to do better next time. This is the mess in my head. Peace & Love
The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer has come & gone...
Here's my version of the walk (cuz you know it's different than everyone else's.):
I was a superstar! I walked all 39.something miles! I could do another one next weekend, I feel so good! (Ha, I feel like it's Opposite Day again)
Ok, now everyone knows that's crap, but it really is an amazing thing to see that many people come out for such a good cause. Oh & the people supporting everyone else absolutely kicked ass! They absolutely help to keep the walkers going. When you're feeling down & thinking you're gonna die & you're not going to be able to finish, they're right there to pump you up & make you smile. Even if it's only for a little while, then you start to feel that way again & BOOM! there they are again, picking you right back up.
Did I finish? Hell no! Do I feel bad about it? Maybe a little. I walked the 13.whatever miles on yesterday, then did a couple miles this morning & then hit the cheering station where my bff was & called it quits. But see, here's one of the cool things. Barb was one of those awesome people cheering for everyone (& with that bee-oo-tea-full baby of hers, they were total moral boosters!). So she & I went to other cheering stations to cheer on my aunt & friend Heather (who did freaking awesome, by the way) & got to cheer on others while either waiting for them or just cheering on the peeps that came after them. So, do I feel bad? Only a little. I got to have a whole new experience with being on the other side of it as sell as the walking.
There is probably a lot more that I am leaving out, but I am sore, blistered, swollen, & tired. Maybe if you remind me later, I'll have more to tell you (if I remember).
Thank you to all of my friends & family for all the support you have given me! (A humongo thanks to those who came out, be it the walk itself, dinner, or just my hotel room. I love you all, even if you're creepy *cough* Kevin *cough*!)
I almost put Wind Beneath My Wings up, but I seem to be emotional & I can't do it. Ok, this is waaaaayyy different, but I like it ( you know how much I love the covers!).
I got 3 things from this video: 1. Damn, I want her stomach (in this video). It's perfect! 2. They put Paris's Carl's commercial in the video! (ok, it's not Paris). 3. I think I would die trying to walk(I mean really walk) in boots!
Peace, Love & Advil
Edit: So y'all know, I'm talking about my walking experience. I could have not walked a step & still have known that I did a good thing, helping to raise money for a great cause!
But usually people tend to think it's my head (you read it correctly). In fact, my hubby questions my sanity on a weekly basis (hey, I hide the craziness well enough that he doesn't feel the need to check daily).
Ok, now picture all the fat women you see on tv. They complain that they can't lose weight (while shoving a piece of cake in their face-mmmm, cake. Oops, sorry!) & say they have a thyroid problem.
(Now here is where my sanity is called into question.) I am one of the few who can now say this truthfully and I am soooo friggin happy about it! I am relieved! I was diagnosed today with Hashimoto's disease & unlike normal people who would probably be in tears (normal can be so overrated ; p )I am actually thrilled!
Yes, it sucks that I will be on meds for the rest of my life (unless there is some medical breakthrough), but I have been continuously putting on weight for the last year. The number on the scale never goes down, only up & it has killed what little self confidence I may have had. Now I have a reason for it, besides me being a lazy, fatass.
For some reason, I have an Xmas song in my head, but I won't do that to you...
...Because it's a holiday & I'm not ready. Instead, you get me! (Applaud, damn it!)
Ok, while this is going to be a short week, I think this is going to be one of the most stressful weeks of the year!
My baby is starting 1st grade tomorrow. I was ok with kindergarten because she'd already been thru it. This is 1st grade! Eeek! Man am I getting old...(Yes, I made it about me.)
I also have class tomorrow evening & while not hard, it's still rough, Tuesdays are my longest friggin day of the week!
Then it's almost it's Wed, which means it's almost Fri! I will be staying in Long Beach over the weekend for the Avon Walk. (Any of you who didn't know that just got smacked. I've only posted 50 million times about it!) I need to be there Fri to sign in. My friends are awesome & are going to come out Sat & cheer me on (I'll be looking for bells people! Any air horns & you better have Heather's name on your sign & not mine. hehehe).
I need a new fanny pack (because my fat ass, or tummy, as it may be, broke mine) but I don't want to pay a lot for it. I'm waiting for the hubby to put new holes in my shoes since the dogoat ate a loop. (Why do I feel like I'm in the running for the White Trash Awards?) I need to make sure I have snacks. I need to make sure that I have all my clothes & socks & wits...
I'm going to try to post once more before the weekend, but you know me...
Ok, the verdict is still out, but I put the question out there about the possibility of me starting another blog. Yes, it's mostly for me, but if I'm putting it out there, it'd be nice if other people read it~especially with what I plan on doing. I was thinking about starting next week, but it's not ready & it would be a daily. I was thinking of calling it Diary of a Mad Fat Woman or something like that. I haven't looked into names or anything, so I don't know if that's taken or not. I'm a short, excuse me, fun-sized woman w/fat, um, king-sized body. If I do this, I'd lay everything out there, which is scary. Everyone says to write everything down. If I have to do it for only me, then it sure as hell is not going to happen. I know myself, what can I say?
I can't believe it's just a little over a week until the Avon Walk! I am nervous, to say the least. I know what to expect, but that doesn't make it any easier. I am 30 lbs heavier than last year (sitting on your ass all day sounds fab, but there are consequences) & that will make a big difference.
Have you donated yet? No? Don't you love me? No? Well, don't you love boobies? I'm just kidding...kind of.
You know that money is not the only way to donate. You can donate your support! If you happen to be in the Long Beach area (or are willing to travel) come cheer me on(ok, for the pod peeps~come cheer on Heather & me)! In doing this, you'll help keep me going & get the privilege of seeing whether or not I fall down! (I have already proved that weebles do, in fact, fall down!)
Kind words will help too! Ex: You can do it. You'll be fine. You will not fall down! No, I swear you don't look fat! (Lies yes, but you don't have to tell me that!)
Ok, I kinda squeezed this in to make it fit (I could have posted the Pantera one), but M Shadows is just so damn pretty to look at!
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I think this is a great product. It's a little spendy ($9.95 for 12 packets), but if you have days when you're in a rush & you need to quick fix, I think it's worth it (unless you prefer the taste of donkey butt).
Peace, Love & Coffee
