D-Nile, A Suburb of Crazy Town...

(This is where I am living, happily, today!)

So, we bring you back you you regularly scheduled program! What is that, you may ask...well, fuck if I know (ooooh, I said a bad word!). I didn't like the vibe of yesterday's post so I needed to update. I have a plan. Anyone who wants to help, I'd appreciate it.

Ok, here it is...First, I need a plastic surgeon. I need them to take about 80 lbs off my little frame & flatten my tummy. (A trainer can come later, I'm in a hurry here.) Then I need some absolutely fab clothes! Then I need that movie, you know the one where the guy sells his wife for $1 million for the night. (Someone get on that, will ya?) Then we need someone to restrain my hubby to make him watch that several times, so then he'll think it was his idea...

I plan on taking him to a casino & letting someone have him for the night (for a fee, of course). You didn't think I'd actually do this myself, did you? No! Sometimes a girl just wants to feel pretty.

Humor, Nature's bigger picker upper. Love you guys!


This is just because I think she did an a-friggin-mazing job!

P!nk - New Music - More Music Videos

Peace & Love

10 Things I Hate About Me

Welcome, once again, to my life. It may not be pretty to look at, but it'll make you feel good about your own (hmm...maybe that should be my new tagline!).

Have you ever felt completely worthless ("Are you tired, rundown, listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular?" Oh, how the mind wanders.) That is the boat I'm in right now. The following is my list of reasons why:

• We're broke
• We're broke because I couldn't handle the job I've had for almost 10 years anymore
• We're broke cuz I'm not helping to bring in the big bucks
• We're broke because I don't have enough gold to make cash for gold worth it
• I'm a shitty female because I don't have enough gold for cash for gold!
• We're broke because I can't people shop
• I'm such a shitty female that I can't even shop for people. (I should be able to shop for anything!)
• We're broke because I'm not even good enough to be a stripper (ahem *cough cough*, not that I'd actually do such a thing.)
• I need to lose weight, but can't seem to. (How the hell am I supposed to strip if I can't lose weight?!)
• I'm a terrible housewife. (We need a friggin maid,which we can't get cuz we're broke. This place is a mess!)

Ok, I think y'all get the point. I could go on, but 10 is a nice round number. The point is that I'm broke & need to lose weight, so I can strip (to get people skills, of course) to learn to people shop & earn the big bucks.

Things will get better, I know, but right now it doesn't feel like it. It's amazing at how quickly the funk can take over. While I'd like to curl up into a little ball & watch Pirates all day, I have to get out of the funk as soon as possible, so I can get some work done & hope the hubby doesn't realize what he's gotten himself into.

I may not be able to people shop, but I can give you a 2 for 1 special.






Peace & Love

Cranky Kim Rears Her Ugly Head

Where ,oh where, has my sanity gone?
Oh where, oh where can it be?
I thought I saw it in the toilet...
Turned out it was just my pee.

Now that is just not right! How could you write something like that? Um, read the first line. I lost my sanity! Hehehehe... I read my friend Brittany's blog on why she shouldn't write while on her period cuz she's bitchy (paraphrasing, sorry!) & thought to myself: Self, I says, at least she's got a reason! I unfortunately can not use the p-word as an excuse, I do have plenty of others, though. You wanna here them, here they go (just had an In Living Color moment~Damn you Jack & Stench!):

• Hubby's working nights
• I've been driving 200 miles a day for the last 4 days, just to get my daughter to & from school.
• It's been just M & me...& I'm no Daddy (he is toy to all in this house!)
• My 5 month old (goat) puppy ate my earphones (& my dmv registration renewal last week) & then purged them on the carpet~in front of my sleeping husband
• My house is a mess & the maid seems to be on vacation (that bitch should be fired!)
• My printer decided to break up w/my computer (Why???)
• A kidlet in M's class asked me if I'm gonna have a baby (Damn kids & their free-speaking ways!)
• I haven't smoked in 13 days (& I'm tempted, but haven't)
• I tried eating right & did ok until yesterday, so I'm still fat.
• There is only 2 more months until the Avon Walk & I'm only a little over 1/2 way there

And in happy news:

• I haven't smoked in 13 days!
• I'm over 1/2 way to my goal for the Avon Walk!

There are a few days left for the Timeshare Promotion. Come on people, get your donations in to get in the drawing on the 15th. I will be using http://www.random.org/ to pick a winner & your # is given by the date your donation was received. And if you're feeling extra special generous, my friend Heather, who is also doing the walk, could really use your help, too! Thank you!

Just cuz I love me some Pink:

Peace & Love